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Title: One Last Night
Author: Cassie - foxytime@gmail.com
Date: April 29, 2005
Distribution: ATD, CSFTDS, Smoke & Satire, XFMU, Spookys. All others please ask.
Rating: R - sex
Category: DSR, MSR, angst
In My World of X: Doggett and Scully were a couple, intimate and loving, during season 9 of "The X-Files.
Beta: Sue866, Kristi
HUGE, GIGANTIC Thanks to Sue for her brilliant beta on this fanfic. Thanks for being able to read my mind and know exactly how I wanted to express the story. You are the greatest!
Summary: Scully says a final goodbye to Doggett. Postep "The Truth".
Darkness has swallowed the horrible events of the past twenty-four hours, and all Scully hears is the sound of rain falling outside the motel window. Scully is lying close to Mulder in the bed they share. Tears stain her face. Thoughts of what might have been have been running through her mind since Mulder drifted to sleep. Mulder's words echo in her mind...
Scully is torn. Maybe there's hope for her future with Mulder, but she can't help but feel that is not true.
How can she tell Mulder her true feelings when it will only break his heart? She needs to tell him that she has fallen in love with another man. A man she came to love while Mulder was missing. A man she came to trust while she was searching for him and all alone in despair. A man she depended upon when it was as though Mulder would never return. She tried her best not to fall in love with the man, John Doggett, but she couldn't deny her feelings were real. Is that not how love strikes the afflicted? Without warning?
Her heart is crushed. Tears sting her eyes once more as she recalls the events earlier in the day when she last saw John. They were under attack by the black helicopters destroying the ruins they sought the truth in. They were all in danger. Her split decision to follow Mulder to his car rather than to John and Monica broke John's heart. She could see it in his eyes the split second that their eyes met his before she rode away with Mulder.
She left John without any explanation or without saying a final goodbye. Without telling him how much he means to her and how much she loves him.
Scully glances at Mulder. Is it wrong to love John even now that Mulder is lying at her side? Mulder, the man she had loved before John Doggett had entered her life.
Scully lifts her head from Mulder's chest. She knows she does love him, but not in the same way that she has grown to love John. She simply can't bring herself to let Mulder down. Abandoning him now on his quest would be a selfish act of leaving to be with John; to spend her life with John.
She looks at the time. Three sixteen in the morning.
John and Monica had found them close by here in New Mexico, perhaps they are at a nearby hotel. Perhaps they were even at this very same motel.
Would it be wrong for her to go look for him? What if she did and Mulder woke up - finding she wasn't there? At the same time, she feels she can't do this to John. She can't leave behind the relationship they have formed, to end it like this. After all they had been through together, he deserved a proper end, a final goodbye. If not, it could haunt her forever.
Slowly and quietly Scully removes the blankets from her body and gets out of bed. Mulder moves slightly to readjust his position as her touch leaves him.
Scully puts on jeans and a T-shirt. She runs a comb through her hair and pulls it back into a ponytail. She slips on her shoes and quietly leaves the motel room.
The night air feels cool on her warm skin. She runs her hands up and down her arms to keep warm.
Maybe this is ridiculous, she thinks to herself. How in the world is she going to find John? She has little information to go on. For all she knows he and Monica are already back in Virginia. Or maybe they couldn't escape and were killed in the attack. Her heart stops at that thought. Or, worse yet, she finds him and he won't want to see her again, with the presumption that she has chosen to give herself to Mulder.
Yes, that is what Scully has chosen. Right or wrong. But not because she does not love John.
Oh, how she'd do anything for one last night with John Doggett. To feel his gentle touch, taste him on her lips one last time, feel his body so close to hers; to feel the depth of love that no other man has ever given to her.
She sighs, and wipes rain from her face. She's soaked. She heads toward the motel office, maybe she'd be able to find the answer she needs there.
What the hell is she thinking? It's pouring rain outside, and dangerous men are looking for her and Mulder. She's likely compromising her safety for the improbable hope of being with John one last time - Risking her life to find the one man she loves. Remaining out in the open - vulnerable - could prove more fatal than being on the run with Mulder.
Her pace quickens and she enters the motel office. The man behind the desk smiles at her.
"May I help you?"
Scully looks around the room hesitantly for anything that should cause her to worry.
"Do you know if a John Doggett has checked in to this motel tonight?" She silently doubts it. "He's about six feet tall, brown hair, blue eyes, pointed ears..." Her voice sounds desperate.
"I recognize the description, what's the name again?"
Scully's heart skips a beat, oh God, is he really here?
"John Doggett."
The man flips open a record book and thumbs through the pages to the most recent entries.
"Ah, yes... checked in here around eleven last night."
"What room?"
The man gives her a look. He isn't supposed to share that information.
Scully sighs and feels her back pocket and sure enough she left her FBI badge in it. She pulls it out and flashes it at the man.
"I'm with the FBI, so is he. We're working a case together and I need to speak with him."
"Room 36D."
"Thank you."
That was easy enough. She still can't believe that John Doggett wound up at the exact same motel as she and Mulder in Roswell, New Mexico. Fate and destiny must be at play here. Perhaps he too wanted to remain as close to her for as long as he possibly could, and staying in New Mexico was his way of doing so. She exits the office, frantic in her pace to find room 36D.
Thunder rolls dangerously in the distance, and is followed by a flash of lightning.
Her breath is taken away the moment she's arrived at door 36D. She hesitantly knocks three times. Should she really be doing this? She knows how difficult it will be to meet again only to say a final goodbye. Would it be easier for him to get over her if he never saw her again?
The door opens slowly and Doggett stands before her with the door slightly open. She can see that John is concealing a weapon. His eyes look her over. She knows that he's unsure if seeing her is real or just a dream. His hair is neat. He obviously hasn't slept yet, even though the lights in his room are out.
"John..."
Scully's voice is weak, afraid he's angry with her for running away with Mulder.
It worries her that he says nothing as he steps aside to let her in. She watches him shut the door and lock it. He sets his gun down on the table. His forehead is wrinkled, so much is on his mind and he doesn't know where to start.
Scully steps close to him. She places her hands on his chest. Her fingertips feeling as much as they can, trying to permanently record the feel of his body in her memory.
"Dana..." his voice is a whisper, "... I thought I'd lost you..."
He lifts her chin up with his hand and kisses her with so much love, so much passion. His tongue makes love to hers. His hands grasp onto her, never wanting to lose her again. His mouth leaves hers and he kisses her neck, moving slowly down. His hands pull her Tshirt over her head, revealing her bare chest. He admires her for a moment before placing his lips on her bare breasts. His hands gently massage her torso as he kneels before her. She takes hold of his head and holds him to her. He makes her feel so beautiful, so loved, so wanted.
A tear escapes, rolling down Scully's cheek. How will she tell John that this is their final meeting and she must return to Mulder?
John stands and leads her to the bed. She lies down, kicks off her shoes, and watches as he strips off his white T-shirt and removes his jeans and boxers. Her center throbs in desperation when she sees how hard his arousal for her is. He's so beautiful, so erotic.
All doubts she had about not coming here, and staying beside Mulder tonight have left her mind. This is right. Being with John Doggett is what she wants.
He crawls into bed with her and slowly undoes her jeans and peels them from her body. His lips plant small kisses up her inner thigh until his thumbs hook under her panties and strip them off.
He lays his body on top of hers and kisses her. She wraps her arms around him, tasting his mouth for the last time. She takes her time exploring his mouth with her tongue. She wants so badly to remember everything about this man.
She feels his hand brush her inner thighs, he circles her wet clit and she gasps loudly. Her own arousal is as hard for him as his arousal for her.
His fingers press down gently on her swollen clit, sliding up and down, further exciting her arousal. She spreads her legs open, begging him to enter her. Instead he slides his fingers into her slick opening. His palm presses against her clit. He begins moving his hand rhythmically.
Unwillingly, the tears return to her eyes. Shamefully she covers her face with her hands. John sees her distress. Concerned, he removes his fingers from her core to sooth her.
"Dana, what is it?"
Scully shakes her head, "no".
"No?" He's surprised and confused.
"Not like that..."
She sniffles and tries to stop crying.
"I want to feel you in me."
She smiles, with shining eyes, and the look she gives him tugs at his heart.
She moves her hand between them and teases his hard cock with her fingers. John lowers his head and shakes his head, relieved that she only wants all of him. He looks up into her eyes.
"I didn't bring any protection."
"That doesn't matter, John."
A look of pure, primitive lust returns to his eyes. Scully strokes her hand along the length of his penis. It's head rubs against her clit.
"John..." She moans his name, her voice is hoarse, raw with her love and desire for him.
He kisses her lips and allows her to lead him into her core. He doesn't move at first. He slowly continues to kiss her. His hand rests on her breast and his thumb rolls over her erect nipple. Scully moans and writhes under his touch. He can feel that she wants him to move inside her, to begin making love to her. He feels her inner muscles tighten around his cock. He slowly pushes into her and feels her hook her ankles around his back. He looks down at her. Her eyes are closed in ecstasy and tears stream down her face. He hasn't seen her cry like this since the first time they made love, and they realized how strongly they love each other.
He loves her so much. It was nearly the first moment he laid eyes on Dana Scully that he fell hard for her. He loved how she challenged his beliefs and way of thinking. She wasn't just a gorgeous woman on the outside, she held a beautiful mind and caring soul as well.
Scully says his name and squeezes her muscles around his cock. His rhythm increases. Should he pull out before ejaculating, or should he throw everything into the hands of Fate and let his juices flow through her beautiful body?
Suddenly, Scully rolls them both over and asserts her dominance on top of John. Now she is taking the lead and spreads her legs more. Her small body has taken in the full length of his penis. She rests her hands on his chest and tilts her head back, thoroughly enjoying the waves of sexual pleasure that flow through her entire body. John takes hold of her waist and helps her thrust against him. She lowers her upper body to hover closely over his chest. Her breasts rise and fall against him. Her hard nipples barely touch his skin. He takes one hand and holds a breast in his hand, gently squeezing it. Their breathing is frantic, short breaths. Both are on the verge of climax.
"Almost..."
He can barely speak. He wants her to know he's close so she can pace herself with him to simultaneously orgasm.
Understanding his need, Scully moves to hasten her own climax, placing her fingertips on her clit for more stimulation. She thrusts harder. She feels the twitch of his penis inside her, knowing he's about to explode. She gazes intently into his eyes, showing him how close she is, too. John replaces her rhythm on her engorged clit with his own fingertips. His touch sends her over the edge. She lets out an orgasmic scream. All her inner muscles contract around his penis, bringing him over the edge as well. Scully relaxes her body the best she can as she feels the warmth of his semen pumped inside her. She falls onto his chest and their bodies tremble through waves of orgasmic pleasure together. Their thrusting slows and then they are still.
John feels her breathing return to normal after a few minutes. He feels her tears falling onto his chest. He runs his hand through her hair, to comfort her. He knows that they both never want this moment to end.
"I love you so much, John." She whispers as she cries.
He feels her body shake as she cries harder.
"I love you too, Dana..."
He begins to worry. Something is wrong.
She wants nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms. That would be so easy. She would feel safe and secure with him here or anywhere. Moreso than with Mulder and the danger that surrounds him. She wants to wake up tomorrow and know that everything will be all right because John Doggett is at her side. She wants to be with this man who would view their relationship as his number one priority, not government conspiracies about alien colonization. In this aspect she knows Mulder cannot fulfill what she desperately wants in life. Why is it she feels the need to return to him?
She remains on top of John's body for a few more peaceful moments. Her heart aches at the thought that she must leave here and return to Mulder before he wakes. She doesn't want him to know of her liaison with John or of their love affair. She feels she owes Mulder her help in fighting his battle, but she doesn't want him to feel guilty having her along.
Scully places a soft, lingering kiss on John's lips and reluctantly rolls off of him. She savors the feeling of his slick penis exiting her body. She stands up and begins redressing herself. John rolls onto his side and watches her, wondering why she's dressing.
"I don't think you need to be worried about sleeping naked next to me, Dana. I don't think those jeans will be all that comfortable." He's amused, and feeling pretty damn good about himself now that she's come back to him.
"I can't stay here, John." Scully concentrates on inching up her jeans. She can't bring her eyes to meet his, it's too painful. She hears him sit up in bed.
"What?"
"I need to go back...." She zips up her jeans and slips on her shoes. "to Mulder." She walks to the door.
In an instant, John pulls on his boxers and follows her to the door.
"What are you talking about? I thought that..."
His voice is filled with desperation for an explanation.
Then he sees her face in the dim light. It is then he realizes why she has returned tonight. She sought only to give him one last goodbye. Suddenly heartbroken again, he takes a quick breath to compose himself. Scully sees his eyes are filling with tears. Biting her lip, Scully studies his face. A tear slides down her face.
Her heart screams at her to stay right here with John. Mulder would come to his own conclusions about why she isn't there with him when he wakes up in the morning. He'd be able to go on without her. He can't give up his fight, and he won't, not even for her.
Mulder doesn't need her.
Scully sees that she means everything to John. They are two tortured souls united by Fate, which brought them happiness through each other. Why does she feel she must run away from their destiny?
"I owe so much to Mulder, John... I-I can't stay here with you no matter how much I want to."
She reaches up and touches his face with both her hands. She's never seen his eyes so lost, so sad in all the time she's known him. A tear falls from his eye and touches her fingertip.
"John... please don't make this any harder than it already is..." Her voice trails off as her own emotions give in and she's unable to keep herself from feeling her heart break.
She takes John into her arms and holds him tightly against her body. He wraps his arms around her, not wanting to let go. She doesn't know what to say to him.
"You don't owe him anything, Dana..." He kisses the top of her head.
"You're not safe with him. You saw those helicopters. They intended to kill Mulder for what he knows. They'll take your life too if it helps complete their mission."
Scully knows that he is right, but it doesn't feel right to leave Mulder. She's the only one he can trust. Without her he has no one.
"John, being with you this past year... you made me the happiest I've ever been. I remembered how it feels to love again. I will never stop loving you. I'll never forget every moment that we shared..."
John holds her tighter, sensing she wants to leave him soon. He rests his chin on her shoulder, and breathes in deep her scent.
"Is there anything I can say to convince you to stay with me?" He whispers.
Scully pulls away from him and shakes her head sadly "no". She tries to give him her best reassuring smile. She rises on her toes and gives him a sweet kiss on the lips. Another tear trickles down his face. He holds her hand in his and kisses it. His sad puppy-dog eyes tell her that if she's ever in any trouble, he'll always be there for her. He will always welcome her back into his arms.
She runs her hands across his chest one last time, looks him in the eyes and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She pauses and rests her hand on the door, feeling that he's doing the same on the other side. What she has decided is not fair to either one of them, but it's the right thing to do for Mulder.
Tears stream down her face, mixing with the rain that falls on her. She walks quickly to return to Mulder's room before she can change her mind.
Back in the room with Mulder, she shuts the door, and stares, quietly in thought while he sleeps, for a long time. She slips out of her clothes and back into her pajamas, and crawls back into the bed with Mulder. She wants to feel happy here with him, but she is not.
She lies so her back is to him. She can't stop thinking about John. She can't keep the tears from falling. It hurts too much in her heart. She willingly gave up and walked away from deep and heartfelt love, and a secure, happy future in order to live life on the run with a man who does love her, but takes her for granted.
Mulder curls up against her body, and wraps his arm around her waist as he sleeps.
Is it possible that one day she'll find the same love and happiness at Mulder's side?
A voice in the back of her mind tells her no.
With a lump in her throat, Scully tries to sleep and settles for dreams of life with John.
The End
You can find my other X-Files stories at: http://foxytime.polish-sausage.com/
http://frvs.polish-sausage.com/Author's Note: Yes, I believe that Doggett and Scully were a couple through season 9 (and for purposes outside this story, season 8 as well). This little story was inspired by the song "My All" by Mariah Carey, probably one of my favorite songs she's ever recorded.
"My All" by Mariah Carey
I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right 'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my sideI'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonightBaby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonightI'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonightI'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight
If you enjoyed this story, please feed the author.
Title: One Last Night
Author: Cassie
Details: 20k · R · Standalone · 04/30/05 · Email/Website
Gossamer Category(Keywords): Story [Romance, Angst]
Characters: Doggett, Scully
Pairings: Doggett/Scully relationship, Doggett/Scully RST
SPOILERS: The Truth
SUMMARY: Scully says a final goodbye to Doggett. Post-
ep "The Truth".
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